12 years a mom – here’s what I’ve learnt

Motherhood is something that if I’m honest, I was never prepared for. None of us are though, right? You see though, I wasn’t the type of girl who imagined playing dolls with my child one day. I didn’t want the responsibilities and I didn’t yearn for the title. Perhaps that is why God took it upon himself to intervene and I fell pregnant at 19. Well God, and my own recklessness. At the time, I didn’t think it was best for me and my plans. Hindsight, however, is twenty-twenty and I have learnt so much. It was and is best, the best!

Emilie came at the perfect time, she moulded me and grew with me. Today as proud of her as I am, the pride stretches over me too. She has taught me so much more, than I could have ever taught her. This past weekend, she celebrated her 12th birthday. Not one I took lightly, because in another year – she enters the world of being a teen. That however, is a story for another blog post, today I’m celebrating my 12th year of being a mother. 12 years of learning to be something that constantly requires change. Some sarcastic, tongue in cheek and very real lessons I’ve learnt since becoming a mother.

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. I am so guilty of this! Every mistake, every damn thing I did not according to the book was overthought, over-analyzed and over-guilt-ed. For what? For who… nobody is looking at you and judging. Okay, they are, but who actually cares? Those people judging don’t add any value to your life. You judging yourself doesn’t either.
• They will hate you. You’re kids I mean, I don’t think Emilie has ever actually said it to me… but guys, I’m sure she thinks it a lot more than I would like to imagine. That’s okay though – I don’t need to be her friend all the time, I do though need to keep her safe and do what I think is best for her. Those are my priorities, one day she will understand. I hope!

• My mom – dammit, she was right. About it all! She was just right, now I want to apologise because finally, I understand those challenges… because I am the mom. Refer to number two – hopefully, when Emilie is a mom one day, she will love me a little more for this.
• It’s okay. Get a big poster for this one, you will need it more than you realise. These are my favourite it’s okay’s: …to let your kids watch too much TV  Do anything that allows you a little peace, the toilet break, a shower, coffee, or just your sanity. It’s alright to mess up a little sometimes, forget school days, and the likes.
• Don’t underestimate the power of sleep deprivation over your ability to be rational. This is actually aimed at my husband and all relationships outside of the ones with my children. I realise now how much I can actually be a little crazy when I don’t sleep. Sorry in advance!

Lastly and all of these things in their own way allude to this – Motherhood is sometimes all-consuming. Actually it’s not sometimes. You need to remember that you (the mom) are a human being with needs too. Get a hobby, do something on your bucket list. Your future self will thank you!

In the Meantime – I have no doubt that I will be able to add to this list every year, as I stumble and get up again to make more changes and learn more things I’m doing wrong. What are some of the most prominent things you have learnt in your motherhood journey?