My love, hate relationship with breastfeeding

My boobs and I have a love hate relationship because of breastfeeding. Now I’m not talking about the kind of “hate that I love you”, that Rihanna and Neyo have. The kind I’m talking about is where there are literally days where I am counting the minutes till it’s over. Yep, your lows are THAT low, I wrote about it here and here. I have spent a lot of time hating on it actually. Many many minutes of sighing and wishing for it to be over.

Today I also want to add a few of the positives, it is World Breastfeeding Week after all (1-7 August)! Yesterday I was one week shy of one year of exclusively breastfeeding my boy. WOW! I deserve a pat on the back guys! I am so proud. #humblebrag Proud and grateful that I could have this experience and share it with my baby. Just to make sure you know in case you didn’t catch it before, it was so hard. BUT also so worth it.

Daniel started daycare in January, it was a terribly difficult time for us as a family as we exhausted all other options. I had so many fears as a new mother, some irrational ones like being afraid he was going to grow attached to another person. Some real ones, like – would they treat him the same as I would? But breastfeeding kept that connection alive and growing for us. It helped me deal. When he comes home from school all he wants to know is his mama, some days it’s harder, because I’m tired. But it is our time, and it is our routine and I actually love it.

Since he has started teething, this little person has been so rattled. Teething sucks! Some days he won’t even eat. It is a relief to be able to comfort and nourish him when nothing else seems to help. Same for when he has been ill – lethargic, moody and feverish.

Even when I have been sick, our breastmilk actually changes to protect your bub from what you have – which have for me, included flu, laryngitis and gastro over the last year. I have fed him right through it all and he has never been affected. That doesn’t however mean he has never gotten sick.

In the great scheme of things breasting is pretty cool. Yay for the boobs! As I near my goal of a year, the relief that I thought I would feel knowing that I can finally start supplementing with fresh milk is now nowhere to be found. Instead I find myself finding reasons to keep pumping and feeding. Be it that I don’t feel he is ready (by this I really mean we or really me), or that it’s too sudden to just change him over.

I am actually considering keeping our journey going for a few more months, who knows maybe next year this time I will still be here writing about breastfeeding. Whatever it may be. The pressure is finally gone. I am so grateful. *takes a bow*

In the meantime – I am so much more grateful for this journey than not. What are your favourite parts of breastfeeding?