Most women look forward to having kids one day, its part of our picture perfect dream of our lives – together with white picket fences. One day, when it happens for us, there is so much joy, and excitement. So much preparation. SO. MUCH. PREPARATION. Everything should be perfect for this new little life. Yet, in all my preparations, no one prepared me for the “mom judgement”.
Do you know what I’m talking about? It makes so much sense to me really. Why we do it I mean. I am as guilty as every other mom on the planet who naturally wanted what was best for my baby. In doing what we believe to be best for our babies – we often dismiss every other option as the “not right thing to do”. I mean hello, if it was the right thing we would be doing it, wouldn’t we? Exactly! In raising our children, we all take this responsibility very seriously. We do research, read, ask questions. We cry, lose sleep and worry. With all this effort it’s no wonder we believe our decisions are the best. And we should – because they are. FOR US!
It absolutely boggles my brain, over and over how we are able to be so tough on one another. We judge one another so harshly because of what we subjectively believe to be right. How is it that we as mothers, all knowing how difficult this task is. Find it so easy to tear one another down, and nit pick one another’s decisions on what is best for children in general.
I honestly believe that each one of us was given the task of raising our children by a God who knew what He was doing. In this we each have instincts and a knowing for our own children. And what is best for our kids. God just gave that to us.
I think it’s just sad, and I am sorry.
Sorry, for many times thinking that my idea of right was a one size fits all. Sorry if I made a mom feel guilty about her decisions because of the way I had spoken about mine. I am sorry that I have actually felt better about myself when I thought that I was doing a better job then the next mom. This is one area where we can all really just mind our own business. Or to make it closer to home – I can really just mind my own business.
Being a mom is tough enough – we are tough enough on OURSELVES without having all these other eyes judging us too. We second guess ourselves enough.
Next time, you are about to judge a mom because her decision is different to yours – remember that if you don’t know the options it’s just not fair to judge the choices. Just my five cents.
In the meantime – have you felt the mom judgement too?
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