The other day a good friend sent me a quote/meme that said “People who care will ask how you are doing. People who love will ask until you tell the truth”. With it she said – “This is you.” At first I laughed, because I am that person that will ask 50289 times if you are okay, if for whatever reason you don’t feel okay around me. It made me feel so good, and I replied saying at least you know it’s love. This is so evident in life, we don’t always say how much we love someone all the time but somehow we show them in little ways by the things we do and with reference to this post – the things we say.
It made me think about my children, Emilie in particular – we express affection quite often in our home so it’s not that she doesn’t know I love her. I just sometimes think she doesn’t always understand. In actual fact I tell her I love her a gazillion times a day, just not in those three words. Sometimes my tone is not the way I should be to express my love, but love is the reason mostly (except for times when its my sanity).
I have listed a few of the ways I say “I love you” to my child every day….
- Have you read today? (big point of contension in our home)
- Have you done your homework?
- Bring me your homework to check
- Have you had enough to eat?
- Did you say thank you to so-and-so?
- No you may not go sleep over at a friends house
- Stop backchatting!
- Please can you do the dishes? (responsibility guys, I’m trying to instill responsibility)
- I’ve packed your clothes
- I made your favourite for supper
- The socks you need for practice are on the line
- I’m sorry I yelled at you – Mommy was frustrated
- Please LISTEN when I talk to you
- Don’t wander off in the shops / Stay close to me
There are so many things that this list could go on and on and on… Whether it be for safety, to instill responsibility or manners. Sometimes to ensure things are done for her benefit, and mine. The rationale remains the same.
I miss my girl so much today – exams were such a stressful time for us (more about this in my next post) and sometimes I think she really believes I don’t like her or don’t want her to be happy. I do know that this happens for many parents, and I know that it’s okay. When she is away from home though – I do hope that she realises how much I do love her. (She is with her grandparents during the week until I finish work – it’s the second week and I am having a mommy meltdown clearly). I hope she knows without having to be reminded of all the things I do – because I love her.
Although it is sometimes difficult to not react with waving hands, a frustrated tone and behaviour that is less than favourable. I always love. Not because I have to – not because I’m a parent and it’s my job, but because I don’t know how not to.