Apologizing to your children shouldn’t be something that’s hard or even seldom done. Because as moms, we too are human, and it is so important that our children know that. Saying you are sorry can mean so much to them. After our sleepover saga a week or two ago, Emilie and I have been having a tough time finding common ground. This last week was the worst. She got sick at the said party, and has been struggling to shake the cold. Which seemingly made us both moody.
One morning this week, during our routine stuff – you know breakfast, dressing, hair etc. We got into it. I was brushing her hair, and moaning about her not brushing it out enough (which is partly her fault and partly mine). She was holding her hair because I was
apparently not being gentle enough. To cut a long story short – I lost it. I ended up screaming at her. She ended up crying. And a whole lot of unnecessary drama before school and work ensued.
Ian and Daniel were watching us on the sidelines in silence. Neither of them spoke. Ian says Daniel was extra sweet, probably thinking that mama doesn’t have time for crap this morning. Ian also gave me those eyes – the ones I give him when I think he is being too harsh. Yeah, that was bad. I am the first person to doubt myself, and say that I made a mistake. To my husband. And friends. Not very often, do I stand (or sit) with my child and say – Mommy was wrong. I am sorry.
This time, I felt so guilty, all day at work. I was so wrong. When I arrived home. Emilie seemed normal. Not like she held a grudge or anything – kinda like she had forgotten the whole episode. As soon as I got the opportunity, where we were alone I said “I’m sorry about this morning Emilie, Mommy was wrong. I shouldn’t have shouted at you that way. Mommy is going to try to be better in the future.” My child looked up at me with tears glistening in her eyes, gave me a big hug and said – “It’s okay mama!”
It felt so good, to clear my heart. And just give her a hug. Although it doesn’t make up for my behaviour, her knowing that that behaviour is not okay made me feel so good. It made me too realise that although we are the parents, to instill a mutual respect, we too need to respect our children. And letting them know we respect them by apologising when we are wrong. It also models the kind of behaviour we want our children to learn from. (monkey see, monkey do)
I am definitely going to try to do this more – when warranted of course.