Gasp! Why don’t my apples taste like your pears? I mean – we are all fruit aren’t we?
After spending some time with a few of the moms in my life this past weekend, I was feeling “less than”. By less than I mean – I felt like I wasn’t doing enough of something. Do you know what I mean? I found myself planning on buying new toys, trying to get DJ books that are more educational and cooking more food from scratch. Basically making A LOT more effort in the baby department. Yesterday afternoon Ian said to me “Love, you are enough – all this is great, but without it you are still doing enough.”
My husband is great right? He is. I needed to hear that. It made me however just question myself, why am I not enough for me? Now after I wrote about mom judgement and confessing that I am myself also guilty of judging other moms by my own standards. Thinking less of them because my own decisions were somehow different and better for us or me as a family you would think that I would know better than in any way or form to NOT compare myself to other moms. BUT I thought about it a lot. It made my head hurt actually.
I surround myself with moms whom I love and admire so from time to time I will feel like I should be bettering an aspect of my own parenting whilst learning from another mom. It’s something that is to be expected and understood. Right? Or is it? Am I comparing myself to better myself? It didn’t feel like it. It kinda feels like it’s only opposite ends of the spectrum – either I love what another mom is doing so much that I beat myself up about not doing it myself OR I’m sitting there thinking hmmm I’m doing it better than you so therefore you must be wrong. #judging
Then I found this quote and it just spoke to my being.
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our “behind the scenes” with everyone else’s highlight reels. – Steven Furtick
It doesn’t get better than that – right? With social media being what it is, it is just soooo easy to be looking around and just thinking how am I doing it all sooooo wrong? How is it that these other picture perfect moms are getting it so right. Just remember that it’s a highlight reel. I’m not too bad with social media usually. But this past weekend really had the mom guilt hovering over me like a dark cloud.
Instead I needed to remind myself – I’m doing it right for me. I’m doing what works for us. I’m doing it because it is the best I have to give right now. AND THAT IS OK! It is okay.
It’s okay. Get it Vee? It’s okay.
These are things that I want to remember next time I start being crazy and feeling inadequate next to people that I know are not trying to make me feel inadequate.
There are so many aspects to this mom thing and I am having so much fun delving into all of them in the lead up to Mother’s Day, if you missed any – here they are again…The Fomo Factor, Why I love being a mom, and how I am rocking motherhood.
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In the meantime – do you compare yourself to others? How do you keep yourself in check?
After having my 3rd kid I couldn’t be bothered with who does what. lol. I just ain’t got the time. If they’re fed (5 yoghurts count as a balanced meal right?) and alive and have a bed to sleep in…well pass my medal over here.
We do the best in our situation and circumstances. Your kids look happy in healthy in their pictures, so really, give yourself a pat on the back 😉
This is such an awesome response, I laughed so lekker. This is what real moms are made of xxx thanks friend!
I love your approach to things!
You’re doing a great job momma; remember you and your family are unique. My husband says his dad told him: “You know why our neighbours are nice people, it’s because they live over there, not here.” LOL
That is so true. We are unique and what works for us will always be unique to what works for another family. LOL @ your father in law.. its soooo true though.
I never met my inlaws though 🙂 They died way before my time.
Oh sorry x_x
I know how you feel.As part of my journey to self -acceptance, I had to let go of preconcieved ideas and notions that I was in competition with others. I think it’s a hold over from my parents always comparing us as kids. It was only recently that I realised that it is MY journey, and when or how I reach it is the only thing I need worry about.
That quote by Steven is amazing – thank you so much for sharing that. I’m actually going to print that out.
It’s exactly how I feel when I look at a lot of other bloggers and I know I shouldn’t be comparing
Why do we do it… and keep on doing it? It is as if we are in a competition the whole time, seeing if we are good enough and later if our children are fast enough, clever enough or whatever the case may be. I think we should remember everyone is not on the same journey.
I love this quote: The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our “behind the scenes” with everyone else’s highlight reels. – Steven Furtick.
It is sooo true. Thank you for this post.
Loved this post. I still look at my son sometimes and wonder if he wouldn’t be better off with someone else, on the flip side of this I have people saying they envy our relationship. its that green grass next door, lol
He will definitely not be better with someone else! Definitely grass is greener on the other side! You are a fantastic mom friend!