This last week has been a bustle of birthday, which meant baking, shops, and all round busyiness. By the end of Thursday Daniel’s birthday my legs and back were actually burning. I got into bed at 11:30pm with a to do list the size of my arm for the next day. Literally closed my eyes and then the alarm went off again. The rest of it was a blur. I forgot to be emotional and sad about DJ turning 1, I was too busy to realise that his baby stage is now gone. I wasn’t present. When constantly moving for the next thing, wishing for the next planning for the future. How can you be present?
I find that I do this so often. Wish time away, to get to the next exciting event/or thing. Even to get to Friday. Today, while my feelings catch up to where I am. I am choosing to be present. I do this in a really simple way that I was taught a few years back. By asking myself a few questions and really thinking about the answers. Want to try with me?
- When you sniff, what can you smell?
- What can you see in front of you, around you?
- What do you feel right now in this moment? Be it emotions or the texture of the materials or objects around you.
- Where are your thoughts? Are they present, future or past. Where do you want them to be?
- Are you positive or negative about today, this moment? Is this how you want to feel? Can you change it?
Okay so I have elaborated on my questions throughout the years. But the first three help me to in a really quick way get back to where I am. Right now, I am in a recovery mode. Just trying to go unnoticed until I feel a little better. I’m not really sure how I feel and that’s okay. I smell coffee, and feel the warmth of my pj’s on my skin. I feel the smooth buttons under my fingers as I type. There’s some sport playing in the background and the sound of sleeping children fills our home. That’s where I am. Right now. I am more than excited to share the happenings from this weekend with you this week, but until I find the energy. I am just here.