For the last two weeks I’ve been grappling with how exactly I would write about my child’s new found preteen attitude. It’s not new I guess. It’s slowly been creeping in while I wasn’t looking, until WHAM, I got knocked out by an eye roll when asking about homework.
Of course, I had to do a double take as this, this behaviour is not like my child. Maybe she is having an off day, I initially consoled myself. Perhaps I have done something differently, in turn making her behave differently. The thing is though – I haven’t. What I have been doing? Is reacting like someone who has lost their marbles to the sarcastic answers, eye rolls and back chatting. I’ve been questioning my parenting, my discipline, my very way of thinking because well, it’s just so hard to accept.
She’s there. It’s official. I play around with the word “preteen” because she’s 12 in a few months but really it’s here already. That dreaded grey area. The time in a mom’s life where her child becomes a foreigner in their home. I’ve heard about it. Waited with baited breath, whilst sheepishly wishing it away. Truth be told, I was a terrible teen. Not one that I would want to parent myself – ever. Maybe that’s why I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I know I feel disrespected sometimes, and completely taken for granted. Sorry mom!
I am also though, a little tender that my darling child, my sweet princess – is acting like a little shit! It’s been hard to share with friends, because well, as any parent, I wouldn’t want anyone thinking less of her. This isn’t like her, at all!
Dramatic? Yes, this mama is full of drama. Now picture my offspring!
Let’s face it though, children are manipulative. They really are. I know this. I see it with my toddler. My preteen however, has hit me for six! She is sweet and sensitive, and with that knows how to pull at my heart strings. So when I speak a little louder, and it results in tears – I feel really guilty. I may or may not be allowing her to get away with murder in these moments.
What am I going to do about it? Where do we go from here? I don’t know. I haven’t done this before and Mr Google unfortunately can only help me so far. I’m going to have to put on my big girl panties, roll with the punches, and be the mom this girl needs. Who is this brave mother? I don’t quite know myself, but I do know that this mom will find her way to the surface soon.
Until then, I’m praying for patience, understanding and wisdom.