When you become a mother, albeit well-meaning everyone has something to say, everyone has an opinion on how you should be, what you should be, and when you should be. It can sometimes get a little overwhelming. Having Daniel 10 years after Emilie (The age gap debate: My experience with a big age gap) it really felt like I was doing it all for the first time. It was terrifying!
“As women, we are part of an unspoken sisterhood and are always there to assist one another with help or advice and inspire confidence in each other. However, as women, we also have an innate ability to be always ready for whatever comes our way.” – Casey Rousseau, Marketing Manager 1st for Women Insurance.
I love what Casey says – it is so valid, and yet we are so insecure about our decisions. Quick to lay on the mom guilt and even quicker to beat ourselves up when we have made a mistake! I’ve got news for you! YOU HAVE GOT THIS!
1st for Women recently shared some tips for new moms that when I read, I literally screamed out YEEEESSSS! (And I’m not even a new mom anymore!) These tips come from an online survey done with 90 000 women who were asked what new moms really need to know. Gosh! I wish someone had shared these with me 2 years ago! Too often we are encouraged away from the very essence of motherhood because of how society depicts we should be. I hope these tips help you in your new, or (if like me you aren’t very new but still need to hear it) current journey.
Instincts trump advice! Every. Single. Time!
If you read my article recently about Daniel and using teething mixture you would know that I, too struggle with breaking away from what everyone says to be true/right. It absolutely ate me up inside to do something that I honestly felt was the right thing for my family at the time. Why? Because everyone else made me feel bad about it. The thing is though none of those people are living your life, in your circumstances, with your baby. Ultimately you are the only one who knows – and really knows at that. So trust your gut! You got this!
You can’t pour from an empty cup – Self Love is Important!
It’s an age old saying, we hear it all the time but who knows what I mean when I say that I tell myself it’s okay to be tired. It’s fine that I look like this because my kids are clothed, fed and looking great? But it’s not, no really, I’m not even kidding. Motherhood in all its glory is often described as self-sacrificing. To a large extent it is, but when postpartum depression hit me during my maternity leave I was so invested, that I didn’t even realise I wasn’t okay. Maybe I did but that wasn’t my priority. My baby was! Right? Wrong – a happy mom = a happy baby. Postnatal depression: not coping, doesn’t make you a bad mom!
Time flies, take it all in when you can.
Another cliche – time flies. When you have a little person you are responsible for though somehow it goes even faster. My heart longs for the days where all I really needed to do was look into my babies beautiful brown eyes and talk to him. I regret trying to do the washing, clean the house and cook while I should have just enjoyed him more. Your baby is only little once – make the most of it!
Things don’t matter to your baby – only to you!
A really prominent tip for me was, don’t break the bank. This is probably the best advice of all if you can take it and make it your own. Babies don’t need lots and lots of stuff! No matter how awesome it all looks – you don’t need it either. If you do have some extra cash, save it for when the time comes when you actually do need something, which happens to be a lot! No amount of decor, pretty clothes or accessories is going to make you a better mother than you already are. You are already there. You got this!