Tomorrow is Daniel’s first birthday. Our little baby boy is turning one. Fifty two weeks, three hundred and sixty five days of life to be celebrated. I am emotional. Happy, excited, sad and nostalgic. So much to say so little words to say it in. And so I write, in hopes of releasing this build up and find someone else who shares this feeling somewhere.
As I lay you down to bed tonight, my eyes filled up with tears. It has been an emotional day for us as we reminisced the last year with you and your coming into the world. We can’t believe how it has flown. How we have evolved and how much joy one little body can bring into a home. You have taught us so much.
I can’t help but think back to the emotions I had last year this time, we could barely sleep knowing we would get to meet you finally. I think the lack of sleep contributed to your dad fainting before your birth – remind me to tell you about that one day. He was a champ during the birth though, proud dad is definitely his thing.
The first year of being your mom, has changed me. I have been a mom for a long time, but being your mom has evoked in me a new sense of who I am. A new definitive me. It’s added layers to the girl mom I was before. A strength like I never imagined and a confidence I didn’t recognise till you. It has been a wild year but one that I would not trade for the world. Your dad and I have been through ups and downs, crazy times but our marriage has never been stronger.
You have made of Emilie a big sister – what a beautiful thing to see. The way she loves you, and looks out for you. You have made us see the world through new eyes. Through your perspective (all the way from down there). I love watching you grow and learn, and most of all the way you help us remember daily that life is simple.
We have made it to one year of breastfeeding! You have been so patient with this mother of yours. Thank you, for helping reaching this goal. You have inspired us, to be more. To be better and I cannot wait to see what you teach us next.
Thank you for sticky fingers, wet kisses and fingers to poke me awake at 5 in the morning. The unconditional love and joy you create around you is contagious. We love you endlessly.
In the meantime – do you get emotional before birthdays too?