Last night I read a Facebook status that made me cringe. Cringe at myself, from shame. I am ashamed at my thoughts and immediate reactions. You see, a baby was found in a storm drain very close to home yesterday. Hearing about it caused so much outrage, people everywhere had so much to say. I wondered, how could this person, a mother – how could she leave her newborn baby?
You can call me – Your Honour!
Suddenly I was so self-righteous, the judge and jury. This mother deserved nothing more than to be ashamed of her actions. I was absolutely disgusted in her behaviour. I went through the day, listening and agree with colleagues and family as everyone had something to say about this poor baby and her mother. 3 hours old, abandoned, why didn’t she take the baby to a place of safety? Why not get some help? She should have done more. Tried harder, been better, that baby deserved more!
Then I came across this status, about that mother, and how she could have been feeling. The possibilities of her circumstance and within seconds my eyes filled up with tears and a knob hardened in my throat. Through all my judgements, not once had I considered an alternative to the fact that this mother was a monster. While I lay in bed last night, there was a mother out there that had been through a birthing experience, with no baby at the end of it. I don’t know this woman, but I’m praying for her. I’m praying because whether it was a bad decision, a hopeless situation or one that was completely outside her control that led her here.
The repercussions of it, are still hers to live with.
We can’t judge anyone for the choices they make, when we don’t know the options they have to choose from. Is a quote I believe with my whole heart. By no means am I saying that what was done was in any way okay – it’s not. But as Mandy so beautifully points out above, we don’t know the circumstance. My mind played terrible games with me today, as I considered some crazy situations, what could have happened. How, why, eventually I decided to let it be and just pray for that family.
My own perspective changes…
With Easter weekend behind me, I guess I hope to be less judgemental. I am looking at this situation with a new perspective, hearing Charmaine’s voice note (the lady who found the baby) and the story of how this baby was found moved me so much. The fact that God’s plan for this baby was bigger. It made me want to love more, to be more obedient, to listen and trust because a small action like taking your dog for a walk suddenly, can save a life.
I hope that as a society we can look at this sadness and instead of closing our hearts, because it’s hard to see. Instead of closing our eyes to the pain and harm one can inflict on another, that we see how much more love is needed. That we look for ways to love more, and not more ways to protect ourselves. I hope that while tonight I sit here more grateful than ever for my friends, my family, my support, that we all count our blessings and use them to bless others more.